Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
