I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
