I could make wine with my vomit
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
