That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize