ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize