dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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