haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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