i wish my penis had a tongue
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
