I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
