I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
