i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
