Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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