Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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