i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
