look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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