Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
