try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
