He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize