Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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