my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
