..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
