I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
