he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
