wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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