Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
