She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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