Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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