when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
