so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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