Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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