Whoa Z and x make the same sound
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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