Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
