Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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