her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
