I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
