How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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