hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize