Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
as a side note pls kill me
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
