Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ttyl tear gas
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
