On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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