Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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