its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
