I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
