I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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