She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
