I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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