just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
