Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
