i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
