so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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