Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize