you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
