Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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