I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
