I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we're making bets on your personal life
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
