This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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