i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
