We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
