Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize