There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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