whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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