my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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