I love black thongs
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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