Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
