It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
