im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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