woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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