oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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